Sticks and Stones…

I suspect we all know the old adage “sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never break me” or “names will never harm me”. Wikipedia notes that it appeared in The Christian Recorder of March 1862, a publication of the African Methodist Episcopal Church, and has since been used as a response to verbal bullying or abuse. It has also been widely debunked! A Psychology Today article from 2011 suggests another ending:

Lynn Greyling, Publicdomainpictures.net

“but words will cut me deeply”. I know we’ve all experienced this in some form. I wonder if you’re consciously aware of remnants of this pain that linger in your own conversations with yourself and others.

The words we use can be a powerful creative or destructive force. Awareness is always the first step in change…we learn how to speak and communicate with others at an early age. Our words reflect our environment during those years and are often buried deep in our subconscious. In Stuck Places, I begin a discussion of waking up to our language patterns and the possibilities of change in how we talk to ourselves and others. Here are some additional suggestions to assist you in shifting from old negative, destructive patterns into those that reflect who you consciously choose to be today:

Language Detox

Speak your Highest Truth. Our communications (spoken, written, thoughts) reflect what is within us. Is it Compassion, Love, authenticity, unique solutions? Or are we communicating anger, fear, doubt, shame, blame?

Your words are powerful reflections of your choice of reality. If your conscious choice is to become the experience of Unity and Harmony within and without:

Become aware of distortion, duality, separation or judgment in your words

Avoid self-deprecating language; honour yourself and others with supportive words

Notice negative language habits, and shift/flip the language in the moment (this is awful, I am stupid, women are, politics is, etc.)

Gently stop the conversation when it goes negative. Don’t speak ill of others, especially if they are not present.

Practice heart-based tools: Shift the topic, pay a compliment, offer supportive solutions rather than negative complaints.

Use the SO IT IS or AMEN. Say this after everything you speak, think, feel or do to become aware of what you are creating – or supporting.

Stop throwing blame around. Take responsibility for your world, it is a co-creation with the divine. Move out of blame and into positive thoughts and creative solutions.

Make the shift – override the old fear – focus on the truth of love, peace, harmony and open-hearted observation rather than judgment. Choose to become aware – wake up…make different choices as you co-create your reality from within. Write just one of these suggestions on a piece of paper and place it where you will see it frequently, and then begin the next step of change, feeling the emotional attachments around those words without self-judgment. Once released, the old patterns lose their hold and new insights are available with possibilities of creating your reality from a place of love, peace, joy, compassion and harmony…a place of Unity Consciousness.

Eloecea

Quan Yin – goddess of compassion

 

 

by Eloecea

 

                                   

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Header image courtesy of NASA/ESA Hubble Space Telescope

 

4 thoughts on “Sticks and Stones…

  1. Beautifully said, Eloecea! And amazingly timely! I was just musing this morning about how what we hear others say to us, and what we experience, influences and often dominates our internal dialogue. How our emotions impact our body, and what we can do to free ourselves .Your post wonderfully gives practical advice for mindful healing of internal and external negative messages. Thank you!

    • Thank you, Ayleyaell – language is such a simple yet challenging place to begin our awareness journey. Words pour out of our mouths (or our minds) without much awareness…until we choose to give them our attention. And it does all come together in body, mind, emotions, spirit…I’m pleased to be on this journey with you.

  2. Thanks for this Eloecea… I appreciate your comments on negative language habits… one of the most useful language flips a former teacher taught me was the trap of saying “I have to [do this, or that],” implying a burden of some kind… she taught me rather to say “I get to [do this, or that],” seizing it instead as an opportunity. Not that I’m always successful with the flip …

    • Am excellent example of flipping a negative thought…have to’s, coulda’s, shoulda’s, ought to’s, etc…reframing them as choices, as, yes, seizing an opportunity, is exactly the way to get out of a negative spiral! Glad to know that you’re not perfect, either, my friend 🙂 Getting closer every moment…I wonder if anyone else has their own way of reframing that works for them.

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